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“We know summer tends to bring out the wild side in people, but we have a small, humble request,” the Woodland Police Department said on social media. “Please stop committing crimes. Just…stop. Not forever. Just until it’s not hot enough to fry an egg on the hood of our patrol cars.”
In a seemingly joking manner, the department continued, “It’s currently about 163 degrees outside, give or take a heatstroke, and we’re out here patrolling in what can only be described as mobile saunas cleverly disguised as uniforms.”
WPD said their officers are sweating in places they didn’t know could sweat. Additionally, their vests are perfect for trapping every last ounce of heat. When it comes to the air conditioning in their patrol cars, WPD said, “bless their overworked little hearts — they’re doing their best.”
If community members are considering doing something worthy of police contact, like “breaking the sound barrier with a subwoofer or dramatically ignoring traffic laws,” WPD begged the community to save it for later.
“We’re asking, from the depths of our heat-exhausted souls, please wait until it’s cooler than a sidewalk at high noon in the desert,” WPD said. “Go read a book. Sit in front of a fan. Reflect on your decisions from the safety of an air-conditioned room. We’ll be ready to resume our usual chase-and-arrest activities once our boots stop melting into the pavement.”
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