Welcome to Optimizer, our relentless quest to live a smarter, healthier life

Every year, I sit in these fancy amphitheaters and watch the biggest names in tech promise how their latest phone, smartwatch, app, chatbot, or doohickey will make our lives better. This calendar app? It’s going to make you more efficient. This smartwatch? Get ready for six-pack abs and a sub-four-hour marathon time. AI on your phone will give you so much of your time back that, buddy, you won’t know what to do with it.

And then I get these shiny new inventions sent to me. I open boxes, download apps, interview founders, and get to testing. Sometimes, these things truly do make my life better. Other times, they send me spiraling thanks to d …

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