DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend and I got engaged in the same week and chose our 2021 wedding dates one week apart. Once we got hit with COVID, I pushed my date back one year, and my friend got married early in the courthouse.
She approached me asking about my wedding date and if I intended on keeping the same date for 2022. She wants to renew her vows with a full wedding — no longer on the original date she had chosen, but one week earlier, on my original 2021 date. She asked me only after I told her of the one-year postponement.
This began a conflict and was a problem for me. As close friends and each other’s bridesmaids, I would not want us to deliberately get married on the same date, even one year apart. What should I do?
It’s My Wedding Date
DEAR IT’S MY WEDDING DATE: Now’s the time to put your foot down, especially since your friend wants to claim the date you have reserved, and it is not her original wedding date.
Be firm that you selected the date and that you want to reserve it as your unique wedding date and anniversary — not to be shared with her. Suggest that she switch to her anniversary date or some other time.
Hopefully by 2022, COVID-19 won’t remain a threat to society. Just in case, know that many wedding planners are offering video services for couples so that they can marry no matter what.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I just turned 18 years old. I’ve wanted a tattoo for as long as I can remember, but my parents are against it. They say that it could disqualify me from getting a job or give a negative representation of myself.
I’ve tried many times to reason with them that it is 2020 and things are different now; companies are more lenient when it comes to personal appearances. I can always cover my tattoos in the workplace, but it really just comes down to what career path I choose, and I don’t know what that is yet.
I don’t think a tattoo will have as big an effect as they assume. Are tattoos still frowned upon in the workforce?
DEAR 18 NOW: I’m old-school like your parents. I believe it does make a difference if you have visible tattoos — depending on the type of job or career path you ultimately choose. Is it worth it to get a tattoo anyway? It is your choice. A compromise might be getting a small tattoo in a discreet area, at least for now. In that way, it won’t stand in your way as you navigate your future.
An opposing view I have heard plenty of times is that there are so many career options these days that there should be a job for you no matter what markings you put on your skin. That may be true, but from my perspective, I think you can have a bit of patience. Wait until you figure how where you think you are headed and what is expected there before you create a roadblock that could make it harder for you to reach your goal.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to email@example.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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Author: Harriette Cole